Tuesday, June 30, 2009

(Lack Of) Service

My beautiful girlfriend and I went to our favorite local Mexican eatery yesterday, expecting the same top-notch service we have received every single time we have dined there. Honestly this place has the best service of any restaurant I have ever dined in. Polite, know their own menu well, friendly. They didn't even bat an eyelash when my Girlfriend's little brother puked on the floor in the middle of the dining room. Seriously.

Now, before I rant this mother up and down I will explain what I expect from the wait staff when dining out. At least a fake smile, every single time you come to my table. Any upturning of the mouth corners will do. Glasses of water for me and my party immediately. Refills on said water every 15 minutes or so. I should not have to point out what is on special at that time on my bill, either. Don't argue with me about what I ordered or the bill, go get the manager for those things. That's it, that's all I expect. If you cannot do those simple things, you should be nowhere near the service sector of society.

Moving forward, our waitress appeared new to my eyes, but I can't be sure. Never smiled once at my girlfriend and I. Avoided eye contact the entire dinner. No water offered. All those things are really no big deal and furthermore, can be quite commonplace to any frequent diner goer. The we get to the check paying part. Before I go any further allow to state: I have never, ever had to have a bill redone 3 separate times. It's just never happened, until last night.

She bring us the bill, with everything regular priced (we were there at happy hour). I take it up and ask her, politely if she could adjust the prices for the happy hour items. She looks at me, quite disgusted and goes "for what?", I calmly walked over to my table and grabbed the little placard SHE HAD HANDED me and pointed to the prices adding "see where it says "enjoy our happy hour in bold black lettering, on the receipt"". She fixes it and drops the bill off. Interjecting here for a moment: I always tip well for good service, if its happy hour I usually over-tip to compensate for the reduced sales. So she brings back the correct bill (26 something). We hand her 10$ and our debit, requesting the ten be applied to the bill then debit the remainder. She brings us back the slip with the same amount, and had pocketed the 10$. So for the 2nd time in 3 minutes I had to ask for her to fix the bill. Finally after the third time she got it right.

In conclusion I would ask that all restaurants stop employing shit servers. I don't want a foot rub or nothing, but your job is most certainly to improve my mood while serving me food. We ended up tipping her just about 15% anyway, because we like that place so much. That is all.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Laundry List of Rants

Rant list #1 Go:

1) Africa is fucked, get over it. When your health minister recommends applying lemon juice to your penis and copulating with a virgin to cure H.I.V., what can possibly be done for you?

2) Theocratic nations loves fighting one another. Lets leave them alone and let their national past times of amateur bomb smithing and misogyny continue!

3) Obama is quite obviously at this point pretty much the same as all other presidents. Case in point: After saying he would push for gay marriage rights he just issued his extensive middle of the ground report on it. Granting nothing, removing nothing, basically just admitting that gays exist. More presidential fence sitting. YES WE CAN ( be indecisive and non committal ).


5) Also stop asking me about Transformers 2, I don't give a fuck. I'm perfectly happy with the animated commercial from the 80s starring Leonard Nemoy and Orson Welles.

6) Finally one big fuck you to MMA fans. So fucking over you skinny fuck, wigger, emo, fashion abortions, mad dogging me with their TAPOUT gear. Its the same shit we went through with FUBU years ago. Pathetic weaklings get their hands on multiple layers of gear and all of a sudden I'm scared? Fuck that. Its a piece of poorly made clothing, it doesn't transform you into Chuck Liddel or increase your fighting stats. Nor does ordering every fight, every single week.

7) I don't want to watch dudes in hot pants fight other dudes in hot pants, whilst surrounded by a room full of dudes. So please save your MMA fight invitations.