Saturday, April 24, 2010

Thanks, DUDE!

Open letter to the man that JUST HAD to persecute me at work: Fuck your religous/fascist nonsense. The secular (see:real, see:actual) world will never accept you or anyone like you. Simply due to the fact you can't walk up to a sample station at a grocery store without bringing god to the mix, to the max, I may add. I hope your wife starts gang banging the local hog farmers on the side and comes home and kisses you very passionately with their pig tainted semen still on her lips. I hope your son becomes the universe's most famous, homosexual, alcoholic,Republican, Christian conservative, television evangelist, and treats you with the disdain and hatred you showed me. I hope your daughter becomes, against type, the next St. Pauli girl, in addition to the first openly Christian porn star, AND does a series of films all celebrating how cool The Crusades were. You, I hope you have to spend everyday of the rest of your clearly miserable, angry life modding at, strictly pork recipes. I hope, the most, that you drown while being water-boarded with Pabst, while watching every living family member you have blow pigs and be sodomized by men dressed alternately as Jesus Christ and George W. Bush.