My beautiful girlfriend and I went to our favorite local Mexican eatery yesterday, expecting the same top-notch service we have received every single time we have dined there. Honestly this place has the best service of any restaurant I have ever dined in. Polite, know their own menu well, friendly. They didn't even bat an eyelash when my Girlfriend's little brother puked on the floor in the middle of the dining room. Seriously.
Now, before I rant this mother up and down I will explain what I expect from the wait staff when dining out. At least a fake smile, every single time you come to my table. Any upturning of the mouth corners will do. Glasses of water for me and my party immediately. Refills on said water every 15 minutes or so. I should not have to point out what is on special at that time on my bill, either. Don't argue with me about what I ordered or the bill, go get the manager for those things. That's it, that's all I expect. If you cannot do those simple things, you should be nowhere near the service sector of society.
Moving forward, our waitress appeared new to my eyes, but I can't be sure. Never smiled once at my girlfriend and I. Avoided eye contact the entire dinner. No water offered. All those things are really no big deal and furthermore, can be quite commonplace to any frequent diner goer. The we get to the check paying part. Before I go any further allow to state: I have never, ever had to have a bill redone 3 separate times. It's just never happened, until last night.
She bring us the bill, with everything regular priced (we were there at happy hour). I take it up and ask her, politely if she could adjust the prices for the happy hour items. She looks at me, quite disgusted and goes "for what?", I calmly walked over to my table and grabbed the little placard SHE HAD HANDED me and pointed to the prices adding "see where it says "enjoy our happy hour in bold black lettering, on the receipt"". She fixes it and drops the bill off. Interjecting here for a moment: I always tip well for good service, if its happy hour I usually over-tip to compensate for the reduced sales. So she brings back the correct bill (26 something). We hand her 10$ and our debit, requesting the ten be applied to the bill then debit the remainder. She brings us back the slip with the same amount, and had pocketed the 10$. So for the 2nd time in 3 minutes I had to ask for her to fix the bill. Finally after the third time she got it right.
In conclusion I would ask that all restaurants stop employing shit servers. I don't want a foot rub or nothing, but your job is most certainly to improve my mood while serving me food. We ended up tipping her just about 15% anyway, because we like that place so much. That is all.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Laundry List of Rants
Rant list #1 Go:
1) Africa is fucked, get over it. When your health minister recommends applying lemon juice to your penis and copulating with a virgin to cure H.I.V., what can possibly be done for you?
2) Theocratic nations loves fighting one another. Lets leave them alone and let their national past times of amateur bomb smithing and misogyny continue!
3) Obama is quite obviously at this point pretty much the same as all other presidents. Case in point: After saying he would push for gay marriage rights he just issued his extensive middle of the ground report on it. Granting nothing, removing nothing, basically just admitting that gays exist. More presidential fence sitting. YES WE CAN ( be indecisive and non committal ).
4) I DON'T CARE IF EVERY SINGLE REALITY T.V. STAR DIES OF EBOLA, STOP TALKING TO ME ABOUT THEM!
5) Also stop asking me about Transformers 2, I don't give a fuck. I'm perfectly happy with the animated commercial from the 80s starring Leonard Nemoy and Orson Welles.
6) Finally one big fuck you to MMA fans. So fucking over you skinny fuck, wigger, emo, fashion abortions, mad dogging me with their TAPOUT gear. Its the same shit we went through with FUBU years ago. Pathetic weaklings get their hands on multiple layers of gear and all of a sudden I'm scared? Fuck that. Its a piece of poorly made clothing, it doesn't transform you into Chuck Liddel or increase your fighting stats. Nor does ordering every fight, every single week.
7) I don't want to watch dudes in hot pants fight other dudes in hot pants, whilst surrounded by a room full of dudes. So please save your MMA fight invitations.
1) Africa is fucked, get over it. When your health minister recommends applying lemon juice to your penis and copulating with a virgin to cure H.I.V., what can possibly be done for you?
2) Theocratic nations loves fighting one another. Lets leave them alone and let their national past times of amateur bomb smithing and misogyny continue!
3) Obama is quite obviously at this point pretty much the same as all other presidents. Case in point: After saying he would push for gay marriage rights he just issued his extensive middle of the ground report on it. Granting nothing, removing nothing, basically just admitting that gays exist. More presidential fence sitting. YES WE CAN ( be indecisive and non committal ).
4) I DON'T CARE IF EVERY SINGLE REALITY T.V. STAR DIES OF EBOLA, STOP TALKING TO ME ABOUT THEM!
5) Also stop asking me about Transformers 2, I don't give a fuck. I'm perfectly happy with the animated commercial from the 80s starring Leonard Nemoy and Orson Welles.
6) Finally one big fuck you to MMA fans. So fucking over you skinny fuck, wigger, emo, fashion abortions, mad dogging me with their TAPOUT gear. Its the same shit we went through with FUBU years ago. Pathetic weaklings get their hands on multiple layers of gear and all of a sudden I'm scared? Fuck that. Its a piece of poorly made clothing, it doesn't transform you into Chuck Liddel or increase your fighting stats. Nor does ordering every fight, every single week.
7) I don't want to watch dudes in hot pants fight other dudes in hot pants, whilst surrounded by a room full of dudes. So please save your MMA fight invitations.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Excellent Business Practices, Specs in the City!
I received a phone call stating my prescription sunglasses were ready to be picked up yesterday. Boy, was I excited. So I called them back today curious as to what my total was going to be. Apparently the 2 weeks that has passed between when I ordered them and today was not adequate enough to calculate a sub-total, Mario said he would have to call me back.
Before I go further the "ballpark" figure I was quoted was $142 and some change. Expensive, but worth it if you wear glasses and you know how convenient prescription sunglasses can be.
Mario calls me back and says in his thick Russian accent there was a "mix up", and he's going to "give them to me" for $275. I laughed and told him that's twice the original quote. He said this was a "big mistake". I replied: "Not mine", and hung up.
Before I go further the "ballpark" figure I was quoted was $142 and some change. Expensive, but worth it if you wear glasses and you know how convenient prescription sunglasses can be.
Mario calls me back and says in his thick Russian accent there was a "mix up", and he's going to "give them to me" for $275. I laughed and told him that's twice the original quote. He said this was a "big mistake". I replied: "Not mine", and hung up.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! ENOUGH FUCKING COLORS AND DECORATIONS!
Listen here peeps: I like wild and out there designs just as much as the next Dudebro, but things are spinning wildly out of control. Its more than obvious that everybody and their Ma has a premier purple-veined hard on for Ed Hardy, and whats not to like about a clothing designer who insists on ripping off someone born in 1911 ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sailor_Jerry )?
This story is headed to the eye doctor, where today I witnessed a sight most offensive, literal pupil rape: Ed Hardy sunglasses. FINALLY! Someone has cornered my long held desire for puma flame racing stripe sunglasses. Its about time! Fuck you Ed Hardy. Your so god damned boring its beyond description.
This story is headed to the eye doctor, where today I witnessed a sight most offensive, literal pupil rape: Ed Hardy sunglasses. FINALLY! Someone has cornered my long held desire for puma flame racing stripe sunglasses. Its about time! Fuck you Ed Hardy. Your so god damned boring its beyond description.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Fat People Upstairs = 146, Me = 0
Fuck you fat people, seriously. Fuck you so high and hard. I am planning on initiating a pan-global heart attack for all of you so I don't have to deal with your layers of shit anymore. I'm tired of you rolling your eyes at me when I'm out of your favorite sweets at the store I work at. Tired of you guiltily trying to explain that the 16,000 calories in your cart (all sugar) is "For your friend."
Most importantly I'm tired of struggling to sleep past 7am on my days off, because the tubs upstairs can't wait until I get up to do laps around the bedroom (directly above mine) at 4 in the fucking morning! I have been dealing with this shit for like 6 months now, fucking killing me for sure. They can't go on a walk outside, or do laps elsewhere in the building, nope.
Which brings me to my final statement about our lardier lads and lasses: Just like new Mothers with their enormous, over sized baby strollers, you think that we all have to put up with you cause "that's who I am, and this is what I'm doing". Well guess what? We don't. There was never a meeting where all of us who leave the table when full got together and decided we were going to put up with your shit (lets not forget the odor, Lord knows you heftier ones enjoy sharing your brand with us all). In fact, that meeting will never happen, because deep down everyone is disgusted with your dedication to cramming rolls of fat onto your frame.
Most importantly I'm tired of struggling to sleep past 7am on my days off, because the tubs upstairs can't wait until I get up to do laps around the bedroom (directly above mine) at 4 in the fucking morning! I have been dealing with this shit for like 6 months now, fucking killing me for sure. They can't go on a walk outside, or do laps elsewhere in the building, nope.
Which brings me to my final statement about our lardier lads and lasses: Just like new Mothers with their enormous, over sized baby strollers, you think that we all have to put up with you cause "that's who I am, and this is what I'm doing". Well guess what? We don't. There was never a meeting where all of us who leave the table when full got together and decided we were going to put up with your shit (lets not forget the odor, Lord knows you heftier ones enjoy sharing your brand with us all). In fact, that meeting will never happen, because deep down everyone is disgusted with your dedication to cramming rolls of fat onto your frame.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Enough Rebooting Reboots of Remakes, Seriously!
I read just today at www.io9.com that Marvel is considering "rebooting" the Fantastic Four franchise. Correct, they are going to re imagine a franchise that has already been re imagined, with failure abound.
Marvel attempted a FF4 film in the early 90s that was so bad, so disastrous, that it is only available in bootleg! After waiting 15 years, and probably hoping that we had forgot: they come along with their "new" FF4 movies. You know the ones, Dr. Doom is a fucking trust fund baby (FAIL!), Galactus is purple mist instead of a light years tall Demi-God (EPIC FAIL!). They did the same thing with The Punisher: made a crap version with Lundregn (sic?) in 1988, rebooted it with Thomas Jane and Battlefield Earth Superstar John Travolta, then rebooted it AGAIN last year.
Here is my request to Marvel (DC has not shit the bed nearly as much so their safe, for now): If your not going to put heart and soul into your films, then stop fucking making them, period. You can reboot some shit 8,000 times, if the people making it don't give a shit, then why should we?
Marvel attempted a FF4 film in the early 90s that was so bad, so disastrous, that it is only available in bootleg! After waiting 15 years, and probably hoping that we had forgot: they come along with their "new" FF4 movies. You know the ones, Dr. Doom is a fucking trust fund baby (FAIL!), Galactus is purple mist instead of a light years tall Demi-God (EPIC FAIL!). They did the same thing with The Punisher: made a crap version with Lundregn (sic?) in 1988, rebooted it with Thomas Jane and Battlefield Earth Superstar John Travolta, then rebooted it AGAIN last year.
Here is my request to Marvel (DC has not shit the bed nearly as much so their safe, for now): If your not going to put heart and soul into your films, then stop fucking making them, period. You can reboot some shit 8,000 times, if the people making it don't give a shit, then why should we?
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