Monday, June 28, 2010

Don't Start None, Won't Be None

You cried over my use of the word predilection towards you and it was amazing. You were an exemplary representation of the continual onslaught I choose to endure daily. An onslaught of grotesquely out of shape/way too over the top fit sociopathic, self indulgent clods, who are perpetually schocked the world was not 100% calibrated to them that morning. For one second I just couldn't handle the ten millionth cat lady that reeks of feline piss telling me how to cram their disgusting assortment of frozen foods (its always all frozen foods, all the time) into her bag. Its a 6 sided, 3 dimensional, geometric shape, with one open side. Not a special macrame happiness machine that requires several undulations of your Jabba-esque face to unlock your joy beams for that day.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Thanks, DUDE!

Open letter to the man that JUST HAD to persecute me at work: Fuck your religous/fascist nonsense. The secular (see:real, see:actual) world will never accept you or anyone like you. Simply due to the fact you can't walk up to a sample station at a grocery store without bringing god to the mix, to the max, I may add. I hope your wife starts gang banging the local hog farmers on the side and comes home and kisses you very passionately with their pig tainted semen still on her lips. I hope your son becomes the universe's most famous, homosexual, alcoholic,Republican, Christian conservative, television evangelist, and treats you with the disdain and hatred you showed me. I hope your daughter becomes, against type, the next St. Pauli girl, in addition to the first openly Christian porn star, AND does a series of films all celebrating how cool The Crusades were. You, I hope you have to spend everyday of the rest of your clearly miserable, angry life modding at, strictly pork recipes. I hope, the most, that you drown while being water-boarded with Pabst, while watching every living family member you have blow pigs and be sodomized by men dressed alternately as Jesus Christ and George W. Bush.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


Is there an universal meaning for "Support Our Troops"? The statement/sentiment/rhetoric confuses me. Is it an insanely popular non sequitor? Like "How are you today", or "What's up". What is proclaiming it indicative of?
When cornered into explaining it by the fervent nationalists which seem to dominate our society now, I say "I support their safety and well being, but not why they are there".
That is total bullshit. I hate the wars this country is perpetuating to an incredible degree. Probably more than I hate anything. Support our troops (to me) says that you're okay with an insanely complex government/corporation manipulating the living piss out of everything around it. I hope all military personal worldwide safely return to their respective homes, WHERE THEY BELONG.
Support 8yr old kids that had their arms blown off because a businessman half a world away decided "It had to be done".